What Do You Do When Your Help Needs Help?
So what’s the worst possible thing that could happen to myself and Himself during this current setup? While I’m ‘out of action’ and where Himself takes up all duties that involve bending too far, heavy lifting, driving, cooking, carrying… need I go on? The Hippies among you know what I’m talking about! I’ll tell you what that worst possible thing is, shall I? That Himself throws his back out, that’s what! You can probably picture the nightmare that befell us, without further explanation.
Now I know, the cynical among you will be saying “yeah, yeah, that’s a nice coincidence…”. That he may have had enough of being Cinders to my healing hip and I. But had you have seen him you will have understood. I’d have laughed from the position he was stuck in if he wasn’t in so much pain (I promise, I’m a very caring person really… just with a slightly warped sense of humour!). If any of you know somebody that suffers with their back, you’ll know what I’m talking about… It’s like sharing your house with the Hunchback of Notre Dame.
But mine, of course, is much more handsome!
I felt useless not being able to help him. I suddenly got a very clear idea of what life with me must be like for him. This week we’ve had to resort to sharing all my disability aids. We realised that would be the answer when I dropped the paper on the kitchen floor and we both just stood there staring at it, realisation dawning across both our faces. Normally it’s a seamless operation; I drop an item, Himself without hesitation retrieves said item. Not this time. And Harvey the dog would sooner tear something up than retrieve anything!
We’ve had many a discussion in the past, where I have had to insist that he let me cope, so I can get used to doing it myself. On occasion, he will take a back seat and supervise the easier of retrieval operations. However, with my newly acquired perception, the shoe being on the other foot so to speak, of not wanting to watch your loved one struggle, I can understand his persistence. I was forced to watch as he struggled to get up from the sofa… I really wanted to be able to give him my arm (not being quick enough out of my chair was one of the things preventing me), but I know my weakened frame wouldn’t be able to help. The closest thing I could offer him was my crutch, I stretched it out to him as far as my restrictions would allow… and it worked!! He was up… success!
I still have a massive guilt trip every time he brings me a meal however, his stiffened swagger, dragging one leg behind him (told you, hunchback!). Something I’m still unable to do; carry. Not having any free hands an’ all. I however, with all the practice I’ve had, have been able to get the washing out of the dryer this week… with my grabber. I felt like a genius!
One thing I certainly know, is we really got our monies worth from the disability aids we bought to help after all my surgeries. We’re getting by… Himself is starting to straighten up a bit also, so his discomfort is easing… between us, you might just get one decent body…
That’s it, I couldn’t take it anymore. My legs were getting so bad they felt like this…
One of the many downsides to the restrictions after a hip replacement. Being hairy from the knee down. Sexy huh! I left it as long as I possibly could. But every time I’d enter the shower with the intention of the general upkeep of me, I was very aware of how neglectful I was being of the areas below the knee. The ‘CDO’ in me despises it (…because I’m “SO OCD it would be alphabetically”, according to Himself. That’s bad, right?). I was trying my best to take a very hard-line approach. Okay, not hard-line… I basically shut my eyes every time I looked down.. which made it nigh on impossible to put my socks on, I can tell you. Clearly, ‘not looking’ wasn’t ever going to work, especially when my other senses were ganging up against me. Himself may not have noticed but I know any rubbing of legs under the sheets would either have resulted in a Velcro-locked situation… or we’d have started a fire! Like I said, it’s not exactly sexy either. I know many will think I should have other priorities before worrying about that, but I have always been of the belief that just because I am ‘sick’ doesn’t mean I have to let myself go. Besides, you feel better when you make an effort, we all know that; when you wear a power suit for an interview, or getting dressed up all pretty for a date. So just keeping myself as maintained as I could, kept me from feeling like this:
Literally hours before my surgery, I did everything I could to help prolong any personal maintenance. It’s one of those items on my ‘pre-surgery : to – do’ lists, which includes cleaning up, trimming and filing my toenails – again, another surgery rule; no nail polish and also, because nobody wants talons on their feet after a couple of weeks!
I knew at some point I would hit my limit with the furry legs. There are tools you can get to extend your razor, but I can’t be trusted with a blade at the best of times, let alone when it risks my own blood loss. So I had planned to ask Himself to help. One more of those romantic moments we share. I guess it cancels out wanting to save him from the Yeti in his bed really. Oh well, Valentine’s Day is around the corner, I’ll make it up to him then!. But given the situation of his recent back injury and despite his insistence, I was however a little reluctant… I mean, how would we logistically do this? Well forget Valentine’s Day, it’s was a beautiful time we shared… me sat on the raised toilet seat, Himself propped up on the floor, wedged in the door frame and a continual conveyor belt of razor and soap between us both and the sink, so he could avoid getting up… that’s how! Go team!!
I’m very proud of well we’ve coped this week. I’m also so very grateful that Himself appreciates my aversion to downy legs. I don’t think we should make it a regular appointment, however I have 3 more weeks of restrictions until I am allowed to bend again… can I live with the Yeti until then…? I doubt it…
How’s the healing?
Doing quite well as you can see! I have started massaging the scar now to reduce it’s appearance, it’s already working – it’s looking as good as it did at the 6 week point of my last hip replacement.
Same time next week!